Shit Happens according to various religions and spiritual philosophies

[lapot]

Боян, но любимый (англ.)
TAOISM: Shit happens.
CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, "Shit happens"
ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)
JESUITISM: If shit happens and when nobody is watching, is it really shit?
ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
COMMUNISM. Equal shit happens to all people.
CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.
SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you're on our shit list.
ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let's have coffee and donuts.
RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US?
REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
MYSTICISM: What weird shit!
AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
ATHEISM: I don't believe this shit!
NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?
AZTEC: Cut out this shit!
QUAKER: Let's not fight over this shit.
FORTEANISM: No shit??
12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!
NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.
DEISM: Shit just happens.
EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn't happen; shit is.
SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.
SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!
HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.
THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.
DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.
SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
JEHOVAH's WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.
MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.
BAHA'I: It's all the same shit.
STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.
EST: If my shit bothers you, that's your fault.
REAGANISM: Don't move; the shit will trickle down.
FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.
CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.
EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.
RASTAFARIANISM: Let's smoke this shit.
CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn't smell bad.
MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can't discuss it during Lodge.
RED CROSS: Shit happens - send money.

Варианты:http://www.myconfinedspace.com/2007/10/18/religions-of-the-world-according-to-shit/
http://students.washington.edu/greenbam/humor/shit.html

Если у кого есть другие варианты - подбросьте в комменты, пжста!

Comments

[hahi.livejournal.com]

JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to US

Капитализация "US" оставляет возможность неверного толкования :)

[lapot.livejournal.com]

Свобода интерпретаций - наше всё! :))

[poruchik-sr.livejournal.com]

Мне все-таки нравица: "I know we are the chosen people, but once in a while can't you choose someone else?"

No shit!!!

[sthinks.livejournal.com]

KRISHNA: Shit happens, shit happens, happens, happens, shit, shit.

[sthinks.livejournal.com]

Еще у меня в старых файлах при поисках shit, обнаружилось:

POLITICALLY CORRECTIONALISM: Defecated matter occurs.
AGNOSTICISM: Shit may or may not happen.

Но потом я глянула в сеть. Там этого shit - завались.

[eta-ta.livejournal.com]

THEOSOPHY: You don't know half of the shit that happens.
Я бы скорее приписала это конспирологам. Напр., 9/11 Truther's kind.
Да, и OJECTIVISM как всегда, перевран с точностью до наоборот.

[poruchik-sr.livejournal.com]

Карандаш на манеже - вот вчера в партию вступил, а сегодня в говно

[hahi.livejournal.com]

Ой, а я это раньше не слышал. Класс!!!!!

[lapot.livejournal.com]

O!

[lapot.livejournal.com]

Вот тоже сейчас глянул...

[lapot.livejournal.com]

Конспирологов я где-то в другом месте видел. Потом найду. :))

[lapot.livejournal.com]

В раздел Personalities http://students.washington.edu/greenbam/humor/shit.html
:))

[vryadli]

Mystics - shit is deep.

[kpoxa-e.livejournal.com]

Шикарно :))

[irena-tls.livejournal.com]

оптимист: shit is deed

[lapot.livejournal.com]

...and dark...

[lapot.livejournal.com]

пессимист: shit is forever

[vryadli]

or dazzling. depends

[lapot.livejournal.com]

Реак Глубока. И Широка. :))

[http://users.livejournal.com/_niece/]

О, фашизм мне особенно понравился.

[lapot.livejournal.com]

О, а мне больше всего "атеизм" понравился. :))

[http://users.livejournal.com/_niece/]

А я, вероятно, отношусь к подразделению hopi. Узнать бы еще, кто это такие и где найти единоверцев.

[lapot.livejournal.com]

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hopi
Вон что нашёл. Кукуруза, да. Но Вам туда не надо! Очень уж они на лицо ужасные, я боюсь.

[http://users.livejournal.com/_niece/]

Да, нехороши - впрочем, такая, как в нижнем левом углу, кажется, в моем классе училась. Зато, пишут, пацифисты.